hwell. i thought you hearing from him about how i picked you would make you happy. i want you. not him. i told him to gtfo because i care about you ten fold than for him. so... awesome? apparnetly, i'm a fuck up regardless of what i do. that's cool. at least i know now that i can do no right. so now i can take all the fucking blame for why things didn't work out with john or jesus or anyone.
okay. fuck two thousand nine. honestly? like nothing good really came from this year. there is so much more bad than there is good... i mean every good thing that has happened was followed by at least 3 bad things. i mean, yes, i'm over john & i can move on from this & go off & find the person i am truly meant to be with. oh, tom likes you too. OH. john isn't okay with anything you do regardless of all the staring he does whenever you're around. fuckin' ah. i mean you look like you have something to say to me john so fuckin' say it. christ. i lost just about everyone i care about at one point or another this year. always cool. but i did find out who my true friends are. i found rae through all of this. she turns out to be the best friend i've ever had. we have these epis conversations like this weekend where the world seems to fall into place & everything makes sense. fate. you know, the whole deal. i finally tell moses just to go away. i lose tom... hey cool.
i'm slightly offended tom. i did this for me & while i didn't do it to make you happy, i had hoped it would. i mean, rather than just piss you off.
maybe fate it just not as much what i thought. always awesome.
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