The past never dies

It really doesn't. You need to stop. You are the start of this. The root of my problem. You know your looks & personality is just irristable if you try hard enough. Honestly. Go back to her & leave me out of this. I want to stay your friend, but if i keep texting you you're going to think more of it than i want you too. I'm finally free from whatever stupid grip i let you get on me. I have Tom. I have my best friend. Someone who i'm sure is a better lover than you anyway. And no. I would rather not find out if that's true. Go away. Leave me alone. You don't give a shit about me in the first place if you honestly want to push this. You know you're the reason for John being pissed, so stop & go away. And again, i have Tom. He's infinitely better than you. He's been here for me through so much. Over years. Just uh-mazing. Tom beats you out Moses ten fold, no more, but still. Basically... get the fuck out. You've ruined too much already. Tom is perfect. This is perfect. hwell. Not perfect, but it can be. Not like with you Moses. No. Get out. You confuse me so... Like you just kind of pop in & out when its convenient for you. I was actually excited to see we were able to be friends when i got those tickets for you. But you still semi-ignored me at the show. That whole month or two or three you blew me off over you did all this shit that messed with my head... why?! JUST LEAVE ME THE FUUUCK ALONE!

speaking of which. i don't know what to say or what to do when it comes to this. you're almost bi-polar with how you act. in my gut i feel like something is wrong. but then again the way you pulled me into when i moved away, the what i took as a sweet goodnight text. not even that! there are other things you've said in the week that i was your girl that just... ah! still. you said that was the last kiss at least three times. but then yesterday there were no kisses. and you seemed totally put off... but then you texted me. you want that photo of us up... fuck. i think too much.


i wish i woke up next to you this morning. i love waking up to your face monster <3 Je t'aime.

ps. i love it when you whisper te amo to me. ( D: oh god... i can't speak spanish... so that spelling is awful, but i know it means i love you. just like je t'aime)