Over my head

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head


Really, it's what I do. I get in way over my head, but at the same time, who better to get in over my head with than you?
The best person to do this with, do that with, would be you, my best friend. It was amazing. The best ever. I just hope it was real. It was for me. Like i said, i wouldn't do that, i wouldn't say this, if i didn't love you. And i do. More than i should. I'm scared though. Worried beyond all belief that this is a one sided affair. That this is another trick from... who knows. Why me? Like you've had the opportunity. You've had the girls. You kissed one saturday. I don't even know what kind of a kiss that was. Or why its your default. Were you trying to drop that burden so you could go be with her? Is that what i was?

FUCK.

Why can't i just find someone who loves me for me? And wants to be with me because i'm me. Where is my true love? Hm?

Part of me is ecstatically happy & blown away & just amorous. The other part is worried & scared.
Part of me thinks, he's still your best friend. Look at how he was acting before. The snuggling. You've seen him everyday since then. Then again, he did ignore you straight up for over a month & told you to fuck off...


i wish i could read minds...