more post from a past life

So talking to Danielle today has been quite up lifting. Once again i've been shown how stupid i am. Never judge a person. Ever. She really quite the sweetheart. I swear to you if anyone ever says anything cruel about her, i will have my viking boys back her up hardcore. (: Seriously, mess with her & you now mess with the choir family. We're sucha Mafia! Anyway, once again, you'd think after Alicia that i would have learned people are never what you hear or what you see. I mean, hell, i thought john wanted to eat me the first time i saw him & in reality, he's the biggest, most cuddliest penguin in the world! Anywho, Danielle is nothing close to the rumors or the facade of person i had been seeing. Anyway, the whole whatever it is, i understood completely. (: Honestly, she's better than me, she held back. I would have killed the girl with John. Straight up slapped her & pushed her over & attempt to beat her up.

Basically, she stumbled upon my blog. I'm really glad she did. I wrote forever ago about how i understand those looks completely. I get the heartache. I get the anger. I understand that complete loss of knowing what to do. Like i said, i get the waking up surprised the sun arose without John. If it was real, if it was love, it wouldn't have ended, not like this. Woah. I get it completely. I still do. But i also get where she's at now. That wanting to move forward, wanting to be friends & just wishing utter bliss for everyone around her. Luckily for me, John & i have been able to get over eachother, the mistakes me we made & forgive each other each. We've even been able to openly express our feelings to each other about how we feel now. Which, i totally get. I love him, but i'm scared of what might happen from that. Losing him over another stupid argument would kill me. Sadly for her, i don't think Casey has fully accpeted everything. The way he would talk about her just gave me this feeling he's not over her. Or i don't know, but he sounds bitter. He doesn't reflect on their time fondly, nor does he respect her. I truly feel for her & hope Casey comes to whatever he needs to grow into so he too can wish her happiness in her life.

So in honor of all of this i want to publish more posts from before my acceptance of well single-ness.
These are post for John, to John, about John. Goodbye's, I hate you's, i miss you's, & i'll always love you's. It's basically everything. (: i don't think i'm brave enough to post a link so, till then pages...